Why is it, you can have 2 people, both in the same niche, both with a similar business model, both similar age, demographic etc…..you get the picture, 2 people who from the outside seem almost identical.
Why is that one will have an outrageously successful business that impacts thousands of people worldwide, and the other always seems to struggle to survive in business, even though they have all the moving pieces in place?
In fact, forget about 2 people. What about thousands of people who consistently struggle, even though they even had the same training and mentors in business, yet one will fly?
What is the key difference?
This always fascinates me. What is different about that one unique person?
Even more importantly, how can I model what they do well?
Without fail, it is always something unique about the way they think, which means, learning to think and act like successful people is often the one thing standing between where you are now, and the success you want to create.
Success in a crowded industry
One such person is my friend Denise Duffield-Thomas (a.k.a. Denise DT).
Denise works in the niche of manifesting and The Law of Attraction. I’ve watched her business grow from 1 on 1 coaching and starting out online, to a steady rise to what is now a 3 million dollar per year coaching business, delivering online training programs for women in money mindset.
Now the niche she is in is pretty common.
In fact I bet the niche of Coaches in The Law of Attraction is also one of the biggest niches with the largest number of broke and frustrated people who are incredibly well meaning, and well qualified, yet constantly struggle in business.
A question they often ask is “How does somebody build a big business around that topic while I’m struggling to even get just one client and charge what I’m worth?”
So that’s the question I asked Denise. Why did you succeed when others didn’t?
I found her answer incredibly inspiring. Especially because I know if you (and I) really listen, drop the “yes but I can’t do that because……” and model her behaviour, you can create a similar success.
And to help you implement, I’ve created a “cheat sheet” list of the highlights below.
You’re going to love watching or listening to this week’s podcast interview.
You can watch the video, listen to the audio, download from the podcast directory, or read the transcript below. Never miss an episode. Click here for all the ways you can subscribe.
What has Denise done differently?
Build your business on the things you love
Even as a kid, Denise was interested in personal development and helping people. She would watch Oprah after school and the next day, she’d had mini Oprah sessions with her friends. She didn’t realise that there was a whole industry around it until she discovered the world of coaching 10 years ago.
Now, coaches used to be all men and that intimidated Denise, who just wanted to help people. It wasn’t until that she opened herself to the world of women coaches that she gave herself permission to become a coach.
A lot of us think about our passion as, “I would do this for free because I absolutely love it.”
Denise thinks we need to get over that. The things that you are willing to do for free are what you should charge for because that’s your path of least resistance.
Don’t take for granted the things you do so well, simply because they come easily to you.
You may have been conditioned from young to think “only things that are hard work are valuable”.
Instead, know the fact is, people will be willing to pay you to do exactly what you love and find easy, simply because you do it so naturally, so well.
Adopt the mantra “I serve, I deserve”
Building on from step 1, if we don’t think we should be charging for what we love doing, then if we do, we fear we’re overcharging.
But here is a reality check.
Undercharging and over-delivering can be a lethal combination. You either get burned out or you get stuck working a 9-5 job that you hate because you can’t bring yourself to charge people.
Then instead of helping more people and making an impact, you end up resenting the very people you want to help!
An exercise that Denise recommends is for you to write on a piece of paper: “I serve, I deserve.”
I would personally recommend for you to write it out nicely and keep it in front of you until you can look at it and say, “Yeah, I know that.”
That’s how I have ingrained all mindset shifts I want to make part of my new “normal”.
Fair dinkum, my computer screen is always decorated with the #1 Mindset Shift, in gold letters, often for months until it sinks in!
In fact, here’s one I’ve prepared for you. Just right click to save this image to your computer and print out or make it the screen wallpaper on your phone.
Think of this when you’re pricing something, or if someone tells you that you charge too much or if they ask for a discount. With “I serve, I deserve,” you can tell yourself that “I deserve to get paid this much because I’m really, really gonna help this person.”
Take action early
Denise started as a one-to-one coach. She was told by her mentor in the program she was studying, to “go ahead and get a client”, and she did. Some of the people who took the same course with her 8 years ago are still not getting clients. The difference is she took action and FAST!
At the time, she went around town and started doing workshops. She would approach local gyms and other businesses and offer to run the workshop for free if they bring their members and she can use their premises. She started off with simple topics such as goal-setting and would do it anywhere they would have her. She freely admits she was so enthusiastic and new, she jammed in everything she knew about the topic, sometimes to the point of overwhelm.
At the end of each 2 hour workshop she would say, “Hey. If you’re interested, I do a one-to-one coaching.” Then she would offer a special deal for those who would buy in on the spot.
This is a tried and tested strategy that has worked for thousands of businesses over the years. The difference is, most people hear of this technique, but never do it.
They simply allow their fears or lack of commitment to stop them.
To be successful, be prepared to move outside your comfort zone and take massive and persistent action.
Nowadays, you can do your free workshops on Facebook live or via webinar. That’s what Denise realised.
Celebrate Your Firsts: Both Good and Bad
I’m sure you can understand why you would celebrate your first client, your first subscribers, your first online program customer, your first member, your first award.
But what about your first unsubscribe? Your first refund? Your first 1 star review? Your first troll? Your first Facebook Live with NO viewers and No comments? Your first webinar when NOBODY turns up?
Would you celebrate those?
For most people, these bad firsts, or perceived failures, are the thing that stops them in their tracks.
Unsubscribes are interpreted as “people hate me”, refunds are interpreted as “everyone will want a refund and it’s not worth selling again”. No audience for your webinar or Facebook live is interpreted as rejection and signs you will never succeed.
More resilient people will take a hit to their confidence and reframe the “failure” as a lesson. A challenge to get over and don’t let this get you down.
But what about if nobody turned up to your first 3 webinars?
How would you respond?
That’s exactly what happened to Denise!
That’s what separates the really successful from everyone else.
She didn’t give up. She didn’t even see it as a “lesson”.
She wholeheartedly celebrates every “failure” as she recognises it for what it is…a rite of passage and something she will never have as a first again.
Celebrate the lessons and the fact you have taken action.
Celebrate your firsts as a rite of passage even if they don’t turn out right. Do it anyway. If you fail, think: “It happened. Now I don’t have to worry about it happening”.
Every failure is a rite of passage that would help you build experience and learn.
Deliver as if thousands are watching
The universe is taking care of you.
You might think that because you just have to be consistent, that not many people are reading or waiting for it, you can put in less effort into it. Don’t. One person reading or watching can pass it on to many others who you could help.
Send out newsletters as if you have a thousand people waiting for it. Do webinars as if a thousand people are watching. As an example, the first 3 (yes 3) webinars Denise ran, NOBODY turned up. She still delivered the 1st webinar and recorded it to create a great optin gift to build her list.
Denise’s first online program, only one person purchased, which meant only one person attended live. She ran each class, as if to thousands.
No one’s going to watch your first video or read your first blog post if you’re just starting from scratch. (Your mum might, if she’s a fan.) But do it and give it your best anyway.
As you get better, that’s when you grow. Having a small audience or no audience at all gives you space to make mistakes and improve on them.
Consistency is something you start from day 0 and continue into a multimillion dollar business.
People won’t forget about you because they will always see you. If not your face, your products, your results, or your testimonials.
Keep turning up and keep delivering excellent value, no matter how many see you. Excellence becomes a habit.
Embrace who you are and your imperfections. When Denise was starting out, she thought she should be like her role models who had very different styles to her. But you won’t find success following someone’s exact business model if it isn’t for you.
She found that she started to grow when she started to double down on who she is.
So Denise stopped pressuring herself to be perfect and focused on just being herself. As soon as she gave herself permission to be open, honest and vulnerable her business and engagement built real momentum.
This is what she learned: Being relatable is what compels people to you.
Get comfortable with who you really are and let people see behind the perfect persona to the real you. Your uniqueness is compelling
Don’t try and do it all
Denise built to a million dollar business with just a part-time assistant, who she is very thankful for. Currently, she only has two assistants, taking on contractual workers as needed. Her husband now also works in the business.
Even the 2 owners (Denise and Mark) only work part time as they have a newborn and 2 other young children, so they both share in the parenting.
Another thing she is thankful for is her team at home. She has a nanny to help her with the kids and a housekeeper to take care of the chores.
The lesson here: If that’s what it takes, get some help.
Make space in your time for your business to grow. Don’t starve it of oxygen. That’s what will happen if you try and do everything yourself. Instead, outsource. It will give you the space to create things that could bring millions into your business.
A lot of us have the mindset “I don’t deserve” or “I don’t have the right” to outsource work at early phases of your business. This is very destructive and you need to get rid of it. Start small. Have a cleaner come in every fortnight. Pay someone else to do your laundry.
Give your business space to breathe.
As women, we often feel a lot of guilt around outsourcing business support and especially getting support in the home.
The fact is, society has still conditioned women to feel like failures if they can’t “do it all”.
Here’s a reframe: Instead of burning out, provide employment to other people who have created a business around doing the “invisible work” women still do the majority of.
I loved Denise’s comment “I want to live like a 1950’s husband”!
You are not an island. Give yourself the time and mental space to build your business by outsourcing assistance in your business and also in your home, where so much “invisible” work is done. Start small then build. Be an employer, not a martyr.
In summary, the difference between people who make millions and those who struggle in the same industry are:
- Build your business doing the things you love doing, that you do well naturally.
- Adopt the mantra “I serve, I deserve”
- Take action early and keep on taking massive action
- Get out there and keep turning up.
- Consistency. People will notice and remember you.
- Celebrate your firsts, both good and bad.
- Deliver value as if thousands are watching, even when you first start.
- Be yourself, it is compelling.
- Don’t try and do it all.
- Stop looking for a silver bullet. Everyone wants a silver bullet but people don’t want to hear that it’s consistency. Keep on going.
If you want to learn more about Denise, go ahead and get on her mailing list or follow her on social media. You can find her on her website https://denisedt.com/ or with the handle “denisedt” on Facebook, Twitter, and her personal favorite platform, Instagram.
She has a book coming out in February that is currently available for preorder. It’s called “Chillpreneur” and touches on different points that were discussed today, in more detail.You can find it everywhere you buy books online.
If you take a big action from the podcast or if you have big Ahas you’d love to share, get in touch with Denise and let her know!
Action tip: and how we will shine the light on you
- Go take a screenshot of the podcast as you watch it on your phone or computer
- Come over to instagram
- Post the image and tag both of us in the post
- We will share the image and shione the light on you
- You can do exactly the same on Facebook too
A Special Message From Janet
Thank you so much for being here. I know there are a lot of podcasts you could choose to listen to and you chose to join me on Romance Your Tribe Radio.
I’m honoured and grateful for your support.
If you enjoyed this week’s episode, I’d love for you to take a quick minute to share your thoughts with us and leave an honest review and rating for the show over on iTunes!
Links and Resources Mentioned
Denise DT’s website: https://denisedt.com/
Read The Transcript Here
Transcript will be available soon!