Christmas Conversation Tips

Christmas Conversation Tips

Not many sleeps now!

As we head into the silly season we are also heading into the “have fun and surprisingly do great business networking” season as well.

In this week’s quick episode I share with you 1 simple sentence you can use that is guaranteed to get the conversation moving in the direction you want and you know what?

It works magic at social gatherings, networking events and around the table on Christmas day when you are sitting next to the nephew / sister-in-law / boyfriend-of-second-cousin-on-your-step-mothers-first-husbands-side….  who you haven’t seen for 12 months.

I’d love to hear your thoughts and watch to the end where I ask YOU the same question and would love you to share the answer with us all below.

You can watch the video, listen to the audio, download from the podcast directory, or read the transcript below. Never miss an episode. Click here for all the ways you can subscribe.

A Special Message From Janet

Thank you so much for being here. I know there are a lot of podcasts you could choose to listen to  and you chose to join me on Romance Your Tribe Radio.


I’m honoured and  grateful for your support.

If you enjoyed this week’s episode, I’d love for you to take a quick minute to share your thoughts with us and leave an honest review and rating for the show over on iTunes!

Read The Transcript Here

Transcript will be available soon!

Why I’ve Been in a Funk for 2 Weeks and How I Got out of It

Why I’ve Been in a Funk for 2 Weeks and How I Got out of It

True confession. The last 2 weeks have been some of the least productive weeks I’ve had for a loooong time. Not because I’ve been holidaying and living the good life. In that case, I would call fun being productive.

No, it’s been the opposite.

I’ve had some big deadlines to meet in my business, for projects I’m excited and passionate about….yet I’ve managed to stuff around, feel in a “funk” and not have the energy to do anything except read my kindle and do busy, but unproductive ”work” (hello Facebook).

If you’ve ever found yourself stuck or overwhelmed in business yet can’t find the energy to do anything about it, then I hope my story today will help you.

I’ll share with you how I uncovered WHY I was in a funk and the steps I followed to get myself out of it.

The good news is, you can use these exact same steps and they’re not rocket science.

Ciders in The Sand Dunes

One of our simple family routines is to walk down to the beach in the late afternoon, grab one cider each from the shop opposite the beach, then sit in the sand dunes, watch the surfers and throw sticks for Leo our spoodle. (that’s him below. In 9 years he still hasn’t mastered returning the stick!)

On Saturday, my husband Doug, dragged me off the lounge where I was reading (a.k.a. avoiding life) to head to the sand dunes.

Once perched in the dunes he turned to me and said “what’s up? You’re usually so full of life and making things happen, but you’ve been kinda absent for weeks, even though you’re here?”.

Do you ever feel that way?

When I acknowledged he was right, and I wasn’t sure what to do to get out of this state, he asked the magic question

“How do you help your clients when they get in a funk?”

Light Bulb Moment

Of course!

You see, I know this is really normal. It happens to my clients all the time and has happened to me in the past.

In fact, I’m willing to bet every entrepreneur, focused on creating a business and making a difference, experiences productivity and energy slumps at least a few times per year.

The bad news is, in business, you can have a bad day, or maybe even a week, but longer than that and your business will really suffer.

And, because I’m such a systems girl, I have a process to prevent and fix these slumps!

C.L.E.A.R. Time

I have a system I use to stay in peak productivity and joy in my business (yes joy).

It’s core to the work I do with my Rising Stars clients I work closely with.

I know if I maintain the steps in the system, I don’t have low energy and productivity, and in fact am a total powerhouse of happiness and action. So that’s what I did.

I reviewed the steps in the system I share with my clients and identified where I had skipped.

The results?

Today……. I’m excited, focused and back in the game baby!

You can see the 5 steps in the system and what each of the letters represent over here.

Below I’ll share the big gaps I discovered and what I did to get back in the game.

Understand, you’re gaps may be every different. That’s the beauty of the system, you create a plan that is tailored to you.

C: Clarity

Clarity is probably the number 1 reason for people in business feeling overwhelmed and unproductive so I knew I had to visit this step first. I have a series of exercises on clarity on quite a few things, working from the big picture to the more actionable goals.

I’ve already done the work so I knew which area I needed to get clear on.

Behind The Scenes: I had been tossing up the pros and cons of introducing a membership program in my business next year, to replace a step-by-step program I have. The pros and cons were coming out pretty even and this left me in indecision purgatory.

This is a danger zone for business owners.

So I worked through the same exercises I give my clients and decided NO.

The model I had been considering would not be best for my clients and just added unnecessary complexity (even though in another business it would simplify).

Here’s a tip: Once you’ve made a decision…MOVE ON! Don’t go back and second guess.

Question for You

Is clarity holding you back?

If so, check out my C.L.E.A.R. Time system. It may help get you unstuck (see the P.S. below too, I’m doing something to extra to kick start your clarity)

E: Energy

Remember, this is a sale so we’re not talking about YOUR frustrations and problems. We’re talking about them. So this may be they are living with someone who is frustrated, or they are tied to a nine-to-five job and would love to have more freedom. You may have children one of you wants to be home with. Think about why YOU have this dream and it may also be a similar motive for your partner.

1. Health Before 10 Wealth After 10

If I start my day meeting friends to swim pals, walking the dog to the beach, running in the bush and kayaking at dawn…..then I am focused and on fire all day.

I had gradually started to check emails, work before breakfast and not head out of the house, a really common thing to do when you feel like you are not getting enough done.

Yet working first, instead of focusing on your health first thing in the day, actually has the opposite effect.

2. Sanity Circles

Last year I made a commitment to myself to paint every day. This was after hearing from a close friend and mentor, the experiments he had been doing with his corporate clients, on daily creativity and productivity.

So I experimented to find a painting method that would allow me to do short sessions of painting, in my breaks during the day.

I’m usually a “paint with wild abandon” gal so this took some working out.

The solution? Sanity Circles.

I paint circles every day and create painting to hang behind my videos.

You can see my latest one below:

The problem?

I hadn’t started a new painting since completing my last one a few weeks before.

The sanity circles have actually been essential to my productivity.

The solution:

I spent Sunday planning and painting the background of my next painting, and this morning, before writing this letter, I painted circles……aaaahhhhh. The mindfulness of it is calming.

You see the process of painting the background over on Instagram @janetbeckers.

You can also see them here on Facebook.

Question for You

Is energy holding you back?

If so, check out my C.L.E.A.R. Time system. It may help get you unstuck (see the P.S. below too, I’m doing something to extra to kick start your year)

L: Lifestyle Planning

I LOVE the Lifestyle section of my C.L.E.A.R. Time system. It really is about taking control and creating a business that supports your lifestyle.

One of the steps in this section is the 90 day planning process, with good, better, best goals and very clear focus steps. I have templates to simplify this and it is a core part of the way I structure my Rising Stars program.

I had lead my clients on creating their most recent 90 day day plans and worked with each individually to make sure they were focused and set clear goals.

I hadn’t done the same for myself!

Fixed that now and the clarity and energy lift was almost immediate.

It’s amazing how when you actually follow your own systems, it works!

Question for You

Is planning holding you back?

If so, check out my C.L.E.A.R. Time system. It may help get you unstuck (see the P.S. below too, I’m doing something to extra to kick start your year)

What Next?

These are very simple steps I have outlined, but the important things is, simple works!

The secret is to have a system and follow it!

I was able to identify the gaps quickly (once I actually acknowledged I had a problem) but that’s because I had done the exercises previously and created my own tailored energy and productivity plan.

That’s why it worked so quickly.

The problem with my time management and productivity tips are they are all-sizes and the reality, we are very different people, with different ways to tap into energy flow and different goals, personalities and lifestyles.

You need a system to create your personal plan and then, revisit it to make sure you are on track.

I’d love to hear from you.

How do you get out of a funk?

Why One Person Makes Millions and Another Struggles in the Same Industry with Denise DT

Why One Person Makes Millions and Another Struggles in the Same Industry with Denise DT

Why is it, you can have 2 people, both in the same niche, both with a similar business model,  both similar age, demographic etc… get the picture, 2 people who from the outside seem almost identical.

Why is that one will have an outrageously successful business that impacts thousands of people worldwide, and the other always seems to struggle to survive in business, even though they have all the moving pieces in place?

In fact, forget about 2 people. What about thousands of people who consistently struggle, even though they even had the same training and mentors in business, yet one will fly?

What is the key difference?

This always fascinates me. What is different about that one unique person?

Even more importantly, how can I model what they do well?

Without fail, it is always something unique about the way they think, which means, learning to think and act like successful people is often the one thing standing between where you are now, and the success you want to create.

Success in a crowded industry

One such person is my friend Denise Duffield-Thomas (a.k.a. Denise DT).

Denise works in the niche of manifesting and The Law of Attraction. I’ve watched her business grow from 1 on 1 coaching and starting out online, to a steady rise to what is now a 3 million dollar per year coaching business, delivering online training programs for women in money mindset.

Now the niche she is in is pretty common.

In fact I bet the niche of Coaches in The Law of Attraction is also one of the biggest niches with the largest number of broke and frustrated people who are incredibly well meaning, and well qualified, yet constantly struggle in business.

A question they often ask is “How does somebody build a big business around that topic while I’m struggling to even get just one client and charge what I’m worth?”

So that’s the question I asked Denise. Why did you succeed when others didn’t?

I found her answer incredibly inspiring. Especially because I know if you (and I) really listen, drop the “yes but I can’t do that because……” and model her behaviour, you can create a similar success.

And to help you implement, I’ve created a “cheat sheet” list of the highlights below.

You’re going to love watching or listening to this week’s podcast interview.

You can watch the video, listen to the audio, download from the podcast directory, or read the transcript below. Never miss an episode. Click here for all the ways you can subscribe.

What has Denise done differently?

Build your business on the things you love

Even as a kid, Denise was interested in personal development and helping people. She would watch Oprah after school and the next day, she’d had mini Oprah sessions with her friends. She didn’t realise that there was a whole industry around it until she discovered the world of coaching 10 years ago.

Now, coaches used to be all men and that intimidated Denise, who just wanted to help people. It wasn’t until that she opened herself to the world of women coaches that she gave herself permission to become a coach.

A lot of us think about our passion as, “I would do this for free because I absolutely love it.”

Denise thinks we need to get over that. The things that you are willing to do for free are what you should charge for because that’s your path of least resistance.

Mindset Shift:

Don’t take for granted the things you do so well, simply because they come easily to you.

You may have been conditioned from young to think “only things that are hard work are valuable”.

Instead, know the fact is, people will be willing to pay you to do exactly what you love and find easy, simply because you do it so naturally, so well.

Adopt the mantra “I serve, I deserve”

Building on from step 1, if we don’t think we should be charging for what we love doing, then if we do, we fear we’re overcharging.

But here is a reality check.

Undercharging and over-delivering can be a lethal combination. You either get burned out or you get stuck working a 9-5 job that you hate because you can’t bring yourself to charge people.

Then instead of helping more people and making an impact, you end up resenting the very people you want to help!

Mindset Shift:

An exercise that Denise recommends is for you to write on a piece of paper: “I serve, I deserve.”

I would personally recommend for you to write it out nicely and keep it in front of you until you can look at it and say, “Yeah, I know that.”

That’s how I have ingrained all mindset shifts I want to make part of my new “normal”.

Fair dinkum, my computer screen is always decorated with the #1 Mindset Shift, in gold letters, often for months until it sinks in!

In fact, here’s one I’ve prepared for you. Just right click to save this image to your computer and print out or make it the screen wallpaper on your phone.

Bonus Tip:

Think of this when you’re pricing something, or if someone tells you that you charge too much or if they ask for a discount. With “I serve, I deserve,” you can tell yourself that “I deserve to get paid this much because I’m really, really gonna help this person.”

Take action early

Denise started as a one-to-one coach. She was told by her mentor in the program she was studying, to “go ahead and get a client”, and she did. Some of the people who took the same course with her 8 years ago are still not getting clients. The difference is she took action and FAST!

At the time, she went around town and started doing workshops. She would approach local gyms and other businesses and offer to run the workshop for free if they bring their members and she can use their premises. She started off with simple topics such as goal-setting and would do it anywhere they would have her. She freely admits she was so enthusiastic and new, she jammed in everything she knew about the topic, sometimes to the point of overwhelm.

At the end of each 2 hour workshop she would say, “Hey. If you’re interested, I do a one-to-one coaching.” Then she would offer a special deal for those who would buy in on the spot.

This is a tried and tested strategy that has worked for thousands of businesses over the years. The difference is, most people hear of this technique, but never do it.

They simply allow their fears or lack of commitment to stop them.

Mindset Shift:

To be successful, be prepared to move outside your comfort zone and take massive and persistent action.

Bonus Tip:

Nowadays, you can do your free workshops on Facebook live or via webinar. That’s what Denise realised.

Celebrate Your Firsts: Both Good and Bad

I’m sure you can understand why you would celebrate your first client, your first subscribers, your first online program customer, your first member, your first award.

That’s easy.

But what about your first unsubscribe? Your first refund? Your first 1 star review? Your first troll? Your first Facebook Live with NO viewers and No comments? Your first webinar when NOBODY turns up?

Would you celebrate those?

For most people, these bad firsts, or perceived failures, are the thing that stops them in their tracks.

Unsubscribes are interpreted as “people hate me”, refunds are interpreted as “everyone will want a refund and it’s not worth selling again”. No audience for your webinar or Facebook live is interpreted as rejection and signs you will never succeed.

More resilient people will take a hit to their confidence and reframe the “failure” as a lesson. A challenge to get over and don’t let this get you down.

But what about if nobody turned up to your first 3 webinars?

How would you respond?

That’s exactly what happened to Denise!

That’s what separates the really successful from everyone else.

She didn’t give up. She didn’t even see it as a “lesson”.

She wholeheartedly celebrates every “failure” as she recognises it for what it is…a rite of passage and something she will never have as a first again.

Celebrate the lessons and the fact you have taken action.

Mindset Shift:

Celebrate your firsts as a rite of passage even if they don’t turn out right. Do it anyway. If you fail, think: “It happened. Now I don’t have to worry about it happening”.

Every failure is a rite of passage that would help you build experience and learn.

Deliver as if thousands are watching

The universe is taking care of you.

You might think that because you just have to be consistent, that not many people are reading or waiting for it, you can put in less effort into it. Don’t. One person reading or watching can pass it on to many others who you could help.

Send out newsletters as if you have a thousand people waiting for it. Do webinars as if a thousand people are watching. As an example, the first 3 (yes 3) webinars Denise ran, NOBODY turned up. She still delivered the 1st webinar and recorded it to create a great optin gift to build her list.

Denise’s first online program, only one person purchased, which meant only one person attended live. She ran each class, as if to thousands.

No one’s going to watch your first video or read your first blog post if you’re just starting from scratch. (Your mum might, if she’s a fan.) But do it and give it your best anyway.

As you get better, that’s when you grow. Having a small audience or no audience at all gives you space to make mistakes and improve on them.

Consistency is something you start from day 0 and continue into a multimillion dollar business.

People won’t forget about you because they will always see you. If not your face, your products, your results, or your testimonials.

Mindset Shift:

Keep turning up and keep delivering excellent value, no matter how many see you. Excellence becomes a habit.

Be Yourself

Embrace who you are and your imperfections. When Denise was starting out, she thought she should be like her role models who had very different styles to her. But you won’t find success following someone’s exact business model if it isn’t for you.

She found that she started to grow when she started to double down on who she is.

So Denise stopped pressuring herself to be perfect and focused on just being herself. As soon as she gave herself permission to be open, honest and vulnerable her business and engagement built real momentum.

This is what she learned: Being relatable is what compels people to you.

Mindset Shift:

Get comfortable with who you really are and let people see behind the perfect persona to the real you. Your uniqueness is compelling

Don’t try and do it all

Denise built to a million dollar business with just a part-time assistant, who she is very thankful for. Currently, she only has two assistants, taking on contractual workers as needed. Her husband now also works in the business.

Even the 2 owners (Denise and Mark) only work part time as they have a newborn and 2 other young children, so they both share in the parenting.

Home Help

Another thing she is thankful for is her team at home. She has a nanny to help her with the kids and a housekeeper to take care of the chores.

The lesson here: If that’s what it takes, get some help.

Make space in your time for your business to grow. Don’t starve it of oxygen. That’s what will happen if you try and do everything yourself. Instead, outsource. It will give you the space to create things that could bring millions into your business.

A lot of us have the mindset “I don’t deserve” or “I don’t have the right” to outsource work at early phases of your business. This is very destructive and you need to get rid of it. Start small. Have a cleaner come in every fortnight. Pay someone else to do your laundry.

Give your business space to breathe.

As women, we often feel a lot of guilt around outsourcing business support and especially getting support in the home.

The fact is, society has still conditioned women to feel like failures if they can’t “do it all”.

Here’s a reframe: Instead of burning out, provide employment to other people who have created a business around doing the “invisible work” women still do the majority of.

I loved Denise’s comment “I want to live like a 1950’s husband”!

Mindset Shift:

You are not an island. Give yourself the time and mental space to build your business by outsourcing assistance in your business and also in your home, where so much “invisible” work is done. Start small then build. Be an employer, not a martyr.


In summary, the difference between people who make millions and those who struggle in the same industry are:

  • Build your business doing the things you love doing, that you do well naturally.
  • Adopt the mantra “I serve, I deserve”
  • Take action early and keep on taking massive action
  • Get out there and keep turning up.
  • Consistency. People will notice and remember you.
  • Celebrate your firsts, both good and bad.
  • Deliver value as if thousands are watching, even when you first start.
  • Be yourself, it is compelling.
  • Don’t try and do it all.
  • Stop looking for a silver bullet. Everyone wants a silver bullet but people don’t want to hear that it’s consistency. Keep on going.

What Next?

If you want to learn more about Denise, go ahead and get on her mailing list or follow her on social media. You can find her on her website or with the handle “denisedt” on Facebook, Twitter, and her personal favorite platform, Instagram.

She has a book coming out in February that is currently available for preorder. It’s called “Chillpreneur” and touches on different points that were discussed today, in more detail.You can find it everywhere you buy books online.

If you take a big action from the podcast or if you have big Ahas you’d love to share, get in touch with Denise and let her know!

Action tip: and how we will shine the light on you

  1. Go take a screenshot of the podcast as you watch it on your phone or computer
  2. Come over to instagram
  3. Post the image and tag both of us in the post
  4. We will share the image and shione the light on you
  5. You can do exactly the same on Facebook too

A Special Message From Janet

Thank you so much for being here. I know there are a lot of podcasts you could choose to listen to  and you chose to join me on Romance Your Tribe Radio.


I’m honoured and  grateful for your support.

If you enjoyed this week’s episode, I’d love for you to take a quick minute to share your thoughts with us and leave an honest review and rating for the show over on iTunes!

Read The Transcript Here

Transcript will be available soon!

7 Steps to Get Your Partner to Support Your Dreams

7 Steps to Get Your Partner to Support Your Dreams

Starting and growing a business can be lonely and the support networks you have (or don’t have) can make the difference between resilience, confidence and optimism and fear, conflict and crippling self doubt. Just this week a question was asked in a business Facebook group I’m part of. A frustrated business woman asked “what do you do if your partner doesn’t support your dreams in business?”.

The responses were fascinating. There were a lot!

Many were wise but I was disappointed how many said “divorce him!”


Surely there are better ways to have the difficult conversations?

That’s what I’m sharing with you today.

Whether you are male or female and whether your life partner is male or female, we all have the same problem. How do you get the support, or the “buy in” from your significant other?

Getting your partner’s support could be for leaving your job to start a coaching or consulting business, travelling to a workshop, buying an education program, starting a business, spending the money on website development or setting up an awesome at-home video studio.

It doesn’t even have to involve spending money as time is just as important.

How do you convince your partner that the late nights you spend learning how to set up your online business are a good investment of your time, and their loss of your attention?

I often am told “You are so lucky to have the support of your husband” and I know I am. But you know what?

Like anything, getting support for your dreams is just like making a sale. You need to know how to make the sale and how to keep the sale. This counts for everything in your life.

So, If getting support from your partner for your goals is just like a sale, let’s look at the tried and tested formula for a sales letter, sales audio and videos. Like any genuine sale, it is not manipulation or deception. A genuine sale provides all the information a person needs to be able to decide if they want to “buy in” and the environment to make the decision without stress.

You can watch the video, listen to the audio, download from the podcast directory, or read the transcript below. Never miss an episode. Click here for all the ways you can subscribe.

7 Steps To Sell Your Partner On Your Dreams

Welcome the viewer:

In the case of talking to your partner about something as important as their support of your dreams, create a welcoming environment. Don’t try and discuss this in the middle of getting dinner ready. Grab a cuppa / bubbles and sit down.

Establish Credibility:

In this case you will be establishing how serious you are about your dream or goal. This will show them this is not just another fad that is not worth spending time on.

Use a hook or cliff hanger:

This keeps the viewer wanting to stay to the end. Everyone, yep even people who love you, will be thinking deep down “What’s in it for me?”. Let them know that you’ll tell them at the end, something that will make it all worthwhile for them. A solution that will make life easier.

Share Your Story:

In sales, this is so people can relate to you. This is because people like to do business with people they like and relate to.  Hopefully, with your partner, you have a bit of that groundwork covered. This is the place to share your passions. Why you are so passionate about this and go into a bit more depth on what ground work you have already done.

Paint the Problem:

Remember, this is a sale so we’re not talking about YOUR frustrations and problems. We’re talking about them. So this may be they are living with someone who is frustrated, or they are tied to a nine-to-five job and would love to have more freedom. You may have children one of you wants to be home with. Think about why YOU have this dream and it may also be a similar motive for your partner.

Provide The Solution:

In a sales letter, audio, video this is the main body. So it works similar for your sales pitch here. This is where you want to lay down some facts and case studies. Examples of what has worked for others and why you think it may work for you.

This is also the place to deliver  on your promise you alluded to in your hook.

To know what promise will work best (equivalent to your offer in a sales pitch) you need to know what their biggest fears are and the biggest benefit. You need to think long term and short term here. So long term it may be lifestyle freedom but in the short term, you will need some other offers.

For example, if their biggest fear is the time it will take you, I suggest you negotiate the amount of time you will spend on your venture, balanced with time with them and family (this is a good discipline for yourself as well).

If their fear is money, you can assign a budget together. You can point them to the number of free resources you can access to learn how to build your business.

If their concern is time AND money, then you can present information on mentors that will save you both time and money in the long run.

HINT: You can also have some fun here. I’ll leave it to your imagination (wink, wink)

Call To Action:

You don’t want to spend all this time and action, moving towards a sale and not close the deal. In sales it is “fill in your email” or “click here to buy”. With your partner it may be:

  • Let’s work out a time table together of times I will devote to my new venture, and time balancing my life with yours, or
  • Let’s agree now if I have your support to book a workshop, invest in a program, take a sabbatical from my work, or
  • Lets agree now that you will not undermine me with doubting language (if this has been a problem) and instead you will re-frame your language to be one of support.

A Word of Warning on Crafting Your Message

I made this mistake myself and I have seen many people (both men and women) make exactly the same mistake.

You cannot expect your partner to have the same dreams as you.

In your ideal world, you and your partner will be inspired by the same passion and both strive towards the same goal. They too, will want to be at the same events, working late at night to learn how to master Internet marketing and be fascinated by SEO and Opt-in rates.

Don’t aim for this.

It is unfair to expect your partner to get sucked into your jet-stream just because you want them to. The sale you are after is their support. You want them to encourage you, not undermine you.

Anything that comes later, is a true bonus and you know that it comes from genuine personal interest rather than just kindness. In many cases, your partner can get involved doing things that you do not have a natural ability for, and they have the satisfaction of doing something practical to help you achieve your dream.

After all, in my books, a great relationship is one that helps each partner be the best they can be. It works both ways. Your partner may have hidden dreams as well and will appreciate your support. You may be surprised at the common ground your different dreams may have after you work through this process.

I’d love to know what you think. I’m sure for some people, the thought of approaching their partner in this way is horrifying. For others, I know it can change your life. Love to know what you think.



P.S. If you’d like to get to know my husband a little bit, you can get a great insight into his passions over here on Flickr

He is an incredibly experienced and passionate ecologist , and as you can see my the thousands of photos he makes publicly free, he spends time in some amazing wild places.

A Special Message From Janet

Thank you so much for being here. I know there are a lot of podcasts you could choose to listen to  and you chose to join me on Romance Your Tribe Radio.


I’m honoured and  grateful for your support.

If you enjoyed this week’s episode, I’d love for you to take a quick minute to share your thoughts with us and leave an honest review and rating for the show over on iTunes!

8 Steps to Free Yourself from Overwhelm in Business

8 Steps to Free Yourself from Overwhelm in Business

Every entrepreneur feels overwhelm in business at some time. After all, when you have a strong vision that pulls you forward, there can seem to be an endless list of things to do to make that vision a reality.

And if life isn’t crazy enough, once you start building your business online the opportunities and options can get overwhelming. Websites, podcasts, videos, funnels, course creation….. enough already!

So much to do and so little time! I get it.

But the reality is, if you don’t have a system to quickly prioritise projects specific for YOUR business and YOUR goals, then overwhelm can destroy your business.

That’s what I’m sharing with you today.

A repeatable 8 step system to free yourself from overwhelm in business.

It’s exactly what I do when my vision moves faster than me (too fast sometimes, and I’m sure you get that). And, because I know you’re short on time, I’ve outlined it in brief below, with some other great resources to help you, and whipped through each step for you with action steps in the podcast.

Now, if you ever hear yourself say “I’m so overwhelmed” STOP IT!

That phrase is banned in my home and business. Instead it is replaced with these 8 steps.

In today’s teaching podcast (and cheat-sheet article) I share:

  • Why entrepreneurs get overwhelmed so often and how to know the signs
  • The core focus areas and why you need to know exactly which is your priority each month
  • How to eliminate the majority of options in a simple 3 step process, and then know which ones to schedule and which ones to dump
  • A simple 1 page tool (I’ll give it to you for free) that takes the emotion out of decisions so you can say NO easily
  • How the concepts of The 3 goals, the Book of Squirrels and The Celebration Box can stop overwhelm raring it’s ugly head

So tune in to watch / listen / read (whichever one floats your boat) as I share step-by-step the system to ban overwhelm from your vocabulary. I’ve also got some great gifts and special priced programs for you to help you further.

Go get ‘em folks!

You can watch the video, listen to the audio, download from the podcast directory, or read the transcript below. Never miss an episode. Click here for all the ways you can subscribe.

8 Steps to free yourself from overwhelm in business

There is nothing more frustrating, or confidence-crushing, as having a vision of the business you want to create yet you seem to be working long hours and getting nowhere and feeling stressed and close to burn out.

Meanwhile you see other people who seem to get stuff done so quickly and remain calm and happy (surely they must be faking it?!)

It’s even more frustrating if you have worked hard yet you’re not seeing the results in your business for all that hard work.

The reality is, there will ALWAYS be more opportunities, more SHOULD, COULD, WOULD do on your to do list and I know how it feels to feel like a kangaroo paralysed in the headlights of overwhelm and you simply can’t move forward because you can’t make a decision.

That stops here!

This is how I get myself out of overwhelm and take the emotion and fear out of everything.

Step 1: Decide what your # 1 focus is at this exact moment:

Websites, podcasts, videos, funnels, course creation….. enough already!

Add to this, the serious FOMO you get every time you learn of a new strategy that the numerous “gurus” swear is the secret to success!

The thing is…. all of the strategies I’ve mentioned above DO work! I know, because I teach and implement them all in my own business. But you can’t do ALL of these strategies at once, and some are just not necessary for your particular business at this stage.

They will still be there next month or next year. The important thing is you choose the strategies that are most important for you RIGHT NOW.

So if bringing in cash is your top priority at the moment, then your podcast can ait to be launched. Creating an offer and sales letter is a higher priority.

So decide, what is your #1 need in your business NOW. Here are few categories to choose from:

  • authority building
  • research and establishment
  • list building
  • conversions
  • Income
  • Expansion

Step 2: Get it out of your head

Write the list of everything you can think of that you have floating around in that head of yours. All the things you think you should do, could do, love to do, see others do, business bucket list. Don’t leave anything in there to eat away at your subconscious and derail your focus.

Think of this as getting everything out of your wardrobe to see, before decluttering.

Step 3: Compare this list against your priority outcome focus

OK now you need to start being ruthless here.

Go down that list and highlight everything that DIRECTLY impacts on the area you have already decided is most important for you right now in your business.

Everything else…. ditch it or add it to your list to be reviewed in 90 days (more on this below).

Now, watch what you do here. If you find yourself saying things like “ooooh but I’ve been wanting to start this podcast for ages and I know it will rock…and really the credibility and exposure will definitely attract clients and increase sales.

Yes it will….

But if your top priority is CASH right now, then stop trying to make that outfit fit (going back to the wardrobe analogy here). Park it to make a priority when your business outcome focus is authority building.

Step 4: Assess your available resources

OK now you’ve been ruthless and parked everything that does NOT directly meet your focus outcome, we need to get ready to prioritize.

We can’t do that until we can compare how easy each option is going to be.

So look at each of the options and record:

  1. WHO can help? Do I have access to these people?
  2. What have you already got partially completed or have resources for?
  3. Do you have the skills yourself to do this or is there going to be a steep learning curve?

Step 5: Rate each option on ease and goal impact

Let’s take the emotion out of it.

Go down the list and rate them out of 10 on how easy they are for you to make happen and how much of an impact they will have.

You are looking for ones that have biggest impact for least effort and also if there are some with less impact but so quick and easy to do you can delegate or knock off fast.

Others may be brilliant but you need to plan to do them well, and others, well…you may need to ditch them, no matter how cool they are.

And hey, when it comes to ideas that don’t make the grade (yet) here’s a clever idea to save them, but in a practical way that gets the subconscious sabotage of “what if” out of your brain and onto paper. Introducing The Book of Squirrels.

Hey this process of rating Impact and Ease and making decisions can sometimes be hard to do. So I have a gift for you.

The exact tool I use to make this process simple and fast. It’s called The Chaos To Clarity Tool and you can download it here (it’s just 1 page)

Step 6: Do a 90 day plan

It is so tempting, when you have decided your priorities, to get started straight away.

I get it because that is my default setting.

I default to “OK decision made, now let’s make this s#*t happen.

The trouble is, that way always end in tears.

There’s always something really important that is left to the last minute because you hadn’t taken the time to see what needs to be done and what needs to be delegated.

In the Rising Stars Coaching Program, we do everything according to 90 day plans.

We use a template to identify priorities, set the goals for each 30 day period, identify what resources we need to get it done and importantly, how we will celebrate.

Once the 90 day plan is done, the decisions and thinking is done.

This is our guiding star for what happens next, and if an opportunity comes up, it is always assessed against the 90 day plan.

It takes discipline to create, and discipline to stick with it.

But this one thing alone will prevent overwhelm and make your business so much more profitable.

For a limited time I share all the templates and training on 90 day planning as part of my CLEAR Time program. You can check it out here.

Step 7: Review and accountability

It is one thing to create a 90 day plan, it is another to actually stick with it!

That’s where accountability comes in.

Find an accountability buddy, a business friend, a coach, a mentor….and show them your plan.

Ask them to hold you accountable and agree on how you will report to them.

The potential for humiliation is a powerful motivatorJ

Review and reflection is just as important as creating a plan.

But you need a process to not just look at what you did and didn’t achieve. You need a process to really deep dive into WHY.

This is something I do with my Rising Stars Clients every 90 days and it is powerful.

I also teach it in the CLEAR time program.

Step 8: Plan to celebrate

If you’re like most entrepreneurs, no sooner have you finished a project or task, then you are already jumping straight into the next one.

We are always driven by future thinking, visualising and planning for what happens next.

Know that this is normal…. and a sure-fire way to guarantee overwhelm in business!

I know how poorly most people do this, so I have a solution for you called The Celebration Box. You can find out all about it here, plus 100 ideas on how to celebrate.

Now You Have a System……

It’s one thing to have a system… it’s another to use it.

So I want you to repeat after me….

“Discipline is my middle name”.

Because it is the combo of a repeatable system and the discipline to use it that will free you from overwhelm in business and bring more joy to your life.

I’d love to hear from you, if this helps and if you have any tips top share with our readers.

Just comment below.

And hey, if you have a friend who needs to be freed of overwhelm in business, please share this with them.

A Special Message From Janet

Thank you so much for being here. I know there are a lot of podcasts you could choose to listen to  and you chose to join me on Romance Your Tribe Radio.


I’m honoured and  grateful for your support.

If you enjoyed this week’s episode, I’d love for you to take a quick minute to share your thoughts with us and leave an honest review and rating for the show over on iTunes!

Read The Transcript Here

Hello and welcome. Janet Beckers here with a Total Teaching episode this week of Romance Your Tribe radio. Today, we’re going to look at a really common problem that is going to strike every entrepreneur at some time, and that is absolute overwhelm from all of the things that you need to do and try to make that decision on which things I need to do and which things I shouldn’t. And you know what? If that sounds like you, if you’ve ever got to that point where you’re thinking, “You know what? I’m busy. I’m running a business,” or, “I’m trying to grow a business, and then, also, I have family. I have a personal life. I have dreams of actually just chilling out, but at the same time, I’m trying to grow my business, I’m trying to create new programs, and learn this whole internet marketing thing, and every time I open up my email, there is another email telling me about this fantastic really good strategy that I really should be doing.”

And they work. So how do you know which of the things are going to be the things that you should be focusing on. So that’s what we’re going to be doing today. I’m going to share with you my eight step system for getting out of overwhelm. Now, total transparency here, I get overwhelmed, too. I wouldn’t be human if I didn’t. We all do. But the thing is, if you get stuck and trying to make those decisions kind of makes you get stuck and you can’t move forward, if you don’t get unstuck and you stay there for too long, your business is really going to get damaged. You cannot afford to stay there just staring into space going, “Oh, what do I do? It’s all too much.” You can’t do it. So you need to have a system to get you out of that overwhelm quickly so you can move on and get shit done. So that’s what I’m going to be sharing with you, that eight step process to get that stuff done and get over the overwhelm.

I use this exact same process myself, and I use this with my clients. As well as the eight steps, I’m also going to share with you some other articles that I’ve done that can help you to totally nail some parts of it if you find that’s your challenge, and I’ve also got for you a gift that’s going to help you to really implement this and get unstuck really, really fast, like a 30 minute job. So let’s get stuck into it.

Now, I know how busy you are, and the thought of learning in a eight step process to get out of overwhelm could be overwhelming. So what I’m going to do is I’m just going to whip through this quick. So that is my intention, to give it to you, just no fluff. All right? So get ready. You can take notes, but I’m also … If you’re listening to this on iTunes or if you’re watching the video on wherever it is, just know if you come over to the blog post that goes with this, I’ve got those eight steps there all for you laid out and the links to everywhere else that you can go to get the extra resources so you can just get stuff done.

All right, are you ready? Get that stopwatch ready now. Okay, here we’re going to go through the eight steps. Number one, decide what your number one focus priority is at the moment. Now, when I say at the moment, that could be like this week, or it could also be in the next 90 days. I like to work in 90 day periods. That’s what I do with my VIP clients. We plan on 90 days. But what is your absolute number one focus. To give you an idea here, and we’re not talking narrow, like tasks. We’re talking about your priorities. So for example, it might be content creation and authority building. You know, creating enough visibility out there to show this is what I do. But what if you look ahead the next few weeks and you go, “Oh, bugger, I can’t see any money coming in. I’ve got all these bills and no cash.” Well, your priority is not authority building, your priority is to get some cash in, baby. It’s income.

Now, what happens if you’re going, I can see this is coming up, but you know I don’t have an audience to sell to. Well, your priority is list building. So that’s going to be your priority. You might have … Another thing might be, you know what? I’m going to get ready to launch a new program, or I’m going to be opening up a new business, or I’m going to be expanding some part, or I’m going to change things. Well, your priority might be you know what, you’ve got to make some decisions around … You’ve got to do some of the research. You’ve got to work out what is it that people want, and you’ve got to do that planning so that you can then take action. That may be your number one thing.

Or your number one thing might be, ha if only I have the time to do this stuff, because my business is so flat out, I am booked out. I cannot book another person in. I need to expand my team so that I can free up my time to do all these other things. Well, that may be your top priority. You may not be able to implement anything else until you can make your priority about getting the right team members. So that’s what I mean when I talk about what is your number one priority, because we’re going to use that in all the rest of the steps to act as your filter. So that’s your number one. What is your absolute number one focus, your big priority in terms of the major outcomes that you need in your business.

All right, step number two. Whipping right along, folks. Step number two is get all that stuff out of your head, okay? All those things that you have got floating around in your head acting as some serious, serious sort of mental wardrobe clutter. Now, get them all out onto paper or a spreadsheet or whiteboard. Whatever works for you, just get them out because as long as you’ve got one of those ideas floating around there in that space, it’s going to distract you. And you won’t be able to stay clear on what you’re doing. So all of those things that you’ve been thinking about.

You know, if they’re all the different list-building projects that you’ve been thinking about, the kind of programs that you could be creating, the formula that you’ve thought of that’s your signature forum, the podcast that you’ve been thinking about doing, the Facebook ads, you know all … Running a retreat, running a workshop, running webinars, all those things that you have in your brain as your business bucket list, or the more to do’s or your should do’s, could do’s. Get them all out, okay? Get them onto that list because now, we’re going to look at step number three.

Step number three is, I want you to look down all that list of things that you have been jarring around in your head, using up all of your energy, keeping you just stuck. Now I want you to go back to number one where we worked out what was your number one focus, your big thing that you really need to be focusing on as a priority in your business. Now, go down that list, and anything that does not directly contribute to that number one thing, I want you to move it aside, okay? You can put it over there, and you can make decisions on that later.

It may very well be that that’s going to be the one that you’d look at in the next 90 day period. Or you know, you’ll look at that when you’ve done the things where your priorities may change. Because if they’re not focusing on the thing that is really important to you at the moment, which might be bringing in some income, making the sales, or it might be getting that list so you’ve got an audience. Whatever it is, don’t put it under somewhere else. It can come back. It can wait. It’s not that important, because it’s not your number one priority. Really, really important to do.

Now this is where it comes in to, and I will have a link down here for you to the Book of Squirrels because there’s going to be some things there that you go, “Oh, but I really, really, really want to do that one right now because it’s fascinating, it’s interesting, it’s so cool. You need somewhere to put that, and that is the Book of Squirrels. So I’ve got a link there for you to explain what is the Book of Squirrels and how do you use it, and what is important to put in there that it’s more than just a list. So you can go and check out that one.

All right, now we have a list of ones that are only related to your major outcome for this period of time. Number four, right. Now what we’ve got to do before we can make any more decisions here, I want you to look at what your available resources are. For example, do you already have an offer that’s already ready to go? This is just saying if you’re focusing on making money. Do you have an offer? Do you have some kind of program? Do you have a sales page, or do you have a brochure, or do you have a process to get people to a sales call. Like you already had that, awesome. Then you’ve already got some kind of resource, some sort of asset there.

Do you have somebody that you can get to do that stuff for you? Or do you already have something nearly all finished? This is really typical with list-building. You’ve got nearly everything finished, but you just haven’t put the opt-in page or you haven’t worked out how to drive traffic or done Facebook ads, any of that sort of stuff. It’s what things have you already got created or already have processes for, or already have people who can do those things for you, and what have you already got? What’s your bandwidth? What are the skills that you’ve got that you can already be bringing to be able to do some of these tasks. That’s really important to be aware of what you do have. Okay, we’re not looking at what you don’t have. I’m sure that stuff goes through your head all the time. We’re looking at what have you already got. What assets, what resources, what abilities, what people? So who have you already got?

Okay, so that was number four, assessing the resources that are already available. All right, now we go to number five, and I have a really, really good free tool for you that goes with this podcast episode. It’s my free ‘Chaos to Clarity Tour.’ This is a one page sheet, a PDF that once you’ve got that, it’s pretty self-explanatory. You can do the process that can take you back 30 minutes. This is what I want you to do in a nutshell, especially what we’re going to get that’s going to make life so much easier for you. Now, the thing that you want to make a thing here is, I want you to have a look at all those things that you’ve got on your to-do list that relate to your number one priority, and I want you to go through them and give them a rating. I mean, the tool I’ve got for you helps you to do all this, but I want you to assess how much impact is each one of those going to make?

So, if your goal is to bring in some cash, out of all of those which one’s going to give you the greatest amount of cash. If it’s list building, which one of these is going to give me the most people for my mailing list? That’s service impact, okay? Don’t think about all of the other yes, buts. All we’re looking at is the impact on there. The other thing I want you to do is go and rate them all as well for how easy they are. That ease, so with ease it could be how fast can you do it, how simply can you do it. Like, from you thinking I’m going to do that to actually it happening, how easy or hard is that going to be?

You’re going to have some things that you know what? I could get this finished today and it’s done. Or I could outsource it to somebody else, and they can get it done really, really quick. Or you know what? That’s actually going to take a long time because I don’t have the skills to do that, and I don’t have anybody I know who’s got the skills. I’m going to have to find somebody to do it. Blah blah blah. Or you know, I can do that, but I know it’s going to take a bit of a lead-up time to do the job properly. So that’s how you work out how easy it is. You want to look at what sort of impact it has, and then what sort of ease is involved.

Again, go and have a look at the ‘Chaos to Clarity Tour.’ You can get it by going to So C-H-A-O-S, like chaos. That’s probably what’s in your brain at the moment. So go over there and you’ll be able to get that tool. Again, there’s going to be some things here that you’re going to look and go, “You know what? That one, it’s not really going to have that much of an impact, and it’s a lot of work. I think I’m going to ditch it.” Or some other things you’re going to go, “You know what? That could be super good, but not really at the moment. I’m going to put it in the Book of Squirrels, or I’m going to plan it for later.” The tool that I’ve got for you makes that decision of which ones to ditch, which ones to implement, which ones you might not get as big an impact but you can do them super quick. You know, they may only be a half hour job, yeah let me do that. So that tool works all that out for you.

Okay, so that got us to, that was step number five. By this time you should be a lot calmer, because you’ve been able to take any of the emotions out of what you’re doing, and you’re making a decision on what you’re going to be doing as your priorities based on actually looking at impact and ease, especially if you use the tool. You’ll be taking even more out of it. You’ll have a number, and then you can just plug that in, and you’ll know straight off.

Now you all have an idea about what your priorities are in what order. Now, let’s get this stuff happening, baby. So that’s going to move us on to the next steps. The next step, number six, is do a 90 day plan. Now, it’s one thing to go this is what I’m going to do, and then just start working on it. That’s really, really typical to do. But what you want to do is, you want to work out actually what is the outcome. How do I know when I’ve done this and why am I doing this? I’ll put a link down to you below to another article I’ve got on goal-setting. Really smart goal-setting, but not as smart as GOAL acronym, but for good, better, best goals and how they get used.

This is what we do with my clients. We work all the time on 90 day plans, and that directs everything that we’re doing and it’s what we’d use for assessing. And for each of those, we create good, better, best goals for the whole 90 days, but also for every single month. So you know exactly what you’re aiming for to get done. It’s one thing to know what you’re going to do, but the other thing is to actually get it done. So that 90 day plan is a really powerful tool, and it makes you stay focused until you’ve got it done. And you know if all of your effort has been successful because of the goals that you set. So use the good, better, best.

This is something I use with my VIP clients. It’s part of our Rising Stars programs is, we work on our 90 day plans, and we have 90 day planning days and we have 90 day review calls. But it’s also part of my clear time program, which is one module where I’ve got all these resources. And my actual process for being able to get things done without burning out and to be calm. So I’ll put a link down for you below so you can go check that out. It will be also at So if you can go there, you’ll be able to see the and check out that program, that may be really, really helpful for you. I’ve got all the templates and worksheets and everything for doing 90 day plans, and also the 90 day review process, which is really important.

So that brings me over to the next one, which is step number seven. You need to have a process for reviewing and accountability, because otherwise you can just keep on being busy and really just spinning your wheels. You want to be affective. So as well as knowing that you’re focusing on the things that’s going to give you the outcomes that are most important in your business, you’re also going to be looking at … What was I talking about here? What’s important in your business, you’re also going to be looking at your goals and have you met them. So you need to have some kind of review process, but not just a review process that goes, “Oh yeah, that was my goal. X number of revenue or X number of people on my mailing list or one new staff member starting on this date.” Whatever it is that you had as your priority, that’s not enough.

You need to have a review process that goes deeper, that allows you to look at why you did get the goal or why you didn’t and really sort of dive a bit deeper about why is this success or why isn’t this success happening? So you need a review process that’s going to do that for you. Yeah, that’s a big thing that we do in the Clear Time program, as well. So you can check that out if you need some extra help with that one. But make sure that you’ve got some kind of review, and somebody that’s going to hold you accountable.

Now the next one, and this really ties in with all of this, and this is something that we actually do during the 90 day planning process, is decide how we’re going to celebrate. How are you going to celebrate you focusing on what you said that you were going to be doing, and what are you going to be doing if you reach your good goal, your best goal, your better goal? How are you going to celebrate? Decide that at the beginning, because that’s one thing we do so poorly as entrepreneurs is, we keep looking for the next to-do, the next to-do and if you don’t want to get overwhelmed again, you need to make sure that you take time to acknowledge and celebrate.

I’ve got a link here for you as well to a really great article that I share the celebration box the way that I work with my clients for a way that we can celebrate that takes a lot of you know, you making judgment calls out of what you do. And I’ve also got there, I’ve asked all these different friends of mine to share what they do as a way of celebrating. So I think it’s about 100 ideas. So go over there. I’ve got the link there for you in this article, as well.

So that gets us to the last part. In quick summary for you, these are the eight steps. Decide what your number one focus is on at the moment, the number one priority that you need to be really doing in your business. Then get out of your head a huge list of absolutely everything that is floating and buzzing around in there in your could do, should do, would do list. Then number three, compare everything that’s on that list against your number one priority, and only include those ones that relate to your big goal. Then I want you to assess your available resources so you’ve got an idea of how easy it’s going to be for you to do certain things. Then I want you to rate each of those things that are on that list for the impact that they can have on your major goal, your major focus, and how much ease it’s going to take for you to get those done.

Then it allows you to be able to rate them so you can do the things that are going to have the biggest impact with the greatest ease. Then number six is you’re going to take action, and to do that you need to have a plan, which is your 90 day plan, and we’re going to be setting goals at the end of that, but also for the milestones each month in between. Then we’re also going to be doing a review process. That’s number seven. And accountability so that you can actually look back and see, “Did I meet my goals? Didn’t I meet them? Why or why not?” So that I can improve next time. And then the very last one is we’re going to plan to celebrate and tie that in with your achievements so that you’re going to be effective rather than just busy so that you’re not going to be overwhelmed, that you’re going to stay focused on the things that are most important to you.

Okay, so that is Janet’s eight step process for getting out of overwhelm. Getting stuff done and getting a life without you burning out, and without your business suffering because you are stuck. I’ve got a few resources here that I’ve mentioned for you. The number one for you to go and check out is, because that’s going to give you my one page ‘Chaos to Clarity Decision Tool’ that’s going to help you to work through that process to be able to know what are your number ones, what’s your number one thing that you’re going to get the best results from so you can make a decision and get going. So that’s the great thing for you to be able to start with.

And I would love to hear from you, does this help? Leave your comments down below or find me over on Messenger or drop me an email. Whatever floats your boat, but let me know. I’d really love to hear if this helps you, and any other great tips that you may have for other people who may be listening or watching, that’s going to help them as well, because I’m sure you’ve got some really good ideas, as well.

Okay, go get them, folks. Bye.

How to Harness Your Inner Dominatrix to Attract Your Tribe

How to Harness Your Inner Dominatrix to Attract Your Tribe

Today we’re talking energy baby and we’re bringing together some gorgeous woo-woo concepts and combining it with some very practical, down to Earth practical strategy.

You see, in business your energy is used not only to sustain you in your day-to-day running of your business.

Your energy is also integral to how you attract your tribe of perfect clients to you and your business.

“Your Vibe Attracts Your Tribe”

I love this mantra, and it is a great starting point for so many lessons on message, marketing and tribe building.

But when it comes down to applying this mantra in a practical way, on a day-to-day basis, the secret is to master the use of 3 different types of personal energy.

In today’s teaching podcast (and cheat-sheet article) I share:

  • The 3 types of energy every person in business needs to learn to use.
  • The 3 focal points, or chakras, these energies are drawn from
  • Which of the 3 energy sources you should use in 3 different situations
  • Which energies will create a disconnect if used at the wrong time
  • The power of sexual energy and when you should and shouldn’t use it
  • How to unleash your inner dominatrix to attract your tribe.
  • When to connect with the heart and when to connect with a whip!

So tune in to watch / listen / read (whichever one floats your boat) as I share examples and stories on why this is important and how you can consciously tap into the idea of the 3 energies when you need them.

You can watch the video, listen to the audio, download from the podcast directory, or read the transcript below. Never miss an episode. Click here for all the ways you can subscribe.

The Three Energy Sources Every Business Person Needs To Master

Here’s a cheat sheet for you on the 3 energy sources and when each one is perfect for use to use in your business. I’ll refer to them as chakras even though I certainly do not consider this to be an area I know a lot about. But it feel right….energetically.

If chakras, chi and energy is your area of expertise, I’d love to hear your ideas below. I’m sure you can add a a lot to the conversation.

Head Chakra

Your head chakra or your head energy is where most of us spend a lot of time. This is especially true if you’re a coach, consultant, business owner, or a service provider.

That’s because you have expertise and a big part of helping your clients involves teaching from your expertise.

When you’re creating content, you also have to be in your head a lot. You’re making decisions, creating strategies, and learning new things.

However, when you’re always up in your head, you cannot really connect with the people right in front of you. Whether if it’s an online video call, talking on the phone, connecting in person, or in a room full of people, you’re not going to make that connection as well.

If you’re in a position where you’re helping people go through a transformational journey, to get them from point A to B, you need to be able to connect so they can truly feel and have confidence they can achieve the transformation, or goal, you are helping them to achieve. They need you to give them that motivation and that just isn’t possible just from using your head energy. You need to tap into heart.

While we focus on this area a lot, we need to be able to draw energy from the two other focal points as well. I’d like to hear from you if you often find yourself in this area. Is it easy for you to swap over as necessary or do you find yourself stuck there?

In short: Head energy is important to teach. Heart energy is needed to give people confidence and inspire.


Heart Chakra

If you’re a coach and you’re connecting, it’s all about asking questions. Heart is important if you’re a life coach or someone who is mentoring. You need to be able to connect heart-to-heart with the person you are talking with, the people you are writing for, or the ones who will be watching your videos. This way, you can make them feel the sense of “This is right” or “I can do this”. You can motivate them to actually take action and to get results.

There’s an exercise I do with my clients on how to energetically connect with a camera before they start recording. This makes the person who will be watching the video feel like, “Man, they’re really talking to me”. So many times I asked a client who’s done a “perfect” video to repeat the exact same thing after doing the exercise that allows them to connect with the camera. You can feel the difference right away because you’ve tapped into your Heart.

Tapping your Heart energy to connect with yourself is also important. This allows you to remember why you do what you do and motivate yourself to keep on going. Focus on heart, focus on love. I tell you what, this stuff works!

However, it is one thing to inspire and give confidence, it is another to motivate action.

That’s where your sexual energy comes in.

In short: Heart energy is important to connect and inspire. Sexual energy is needed to motivate action.


Sexual Chakra

What really brought us on to this topic today, was about harnessing your inner dominatrix. I want you to put your hands just below your belly button and really draw it in. That is the seat of sexual energy. This is the place you can draw from to get that energy that says, “Take me seriously baby, because man I know what I’m talking about, and this is how things happen around here. And you know what? Come to me baby, come to me.”

This is what I’m referring to when I say ‘inner dominatrix’. The way that I try to get into that energy is I visualize this leather clad, high-heeled, whip-wielding woman. She goes, “Right. Let’s make this happen, baby.”

There will be times you have to go out with a proposal for a client and want to surrender it to the universe, that’s not the right energy. You need to tap into your inner dominatrix and go, “You know what? I designed this for you and we’re gonna make this happen, baby. You and I together. Let’s get excited about this.”

It is unleashing your sexual energy that attracts your clients to your confidence and trust that you will lead.

In short: Unleash your Inner Dominatrix to attract your tribe

When do you tap into what?

A few years ago, I presented from the stage a lot. At the end of this, I would pitch an offer to one of my programs. You have 90 minutes to be on stage and it’s hard to keep that energy going. You could actually feel when you’ve lost the audience’s energy.

There are times you need to connect from the heart. There are times that you need to teach. And there are times where you really need to bring in your inner dominatrix and say, “Here we go baby. You and I are gonna do this.”

It’s not just “I believe in you”, it’s “I believe in you and we are going to make it happen!” It’s the extra energy you bring into it.

You want to give great value when you’re presenting from the stage. So you have a big part where you are teaching, giving them really good strategies, tactics, and things that they could be using to take action. You need to be conscious about whether you’re staying in your head for too long because you need to connect with them energetically. You will lose them and they will start nodding off.

It’s at those times that you need to start bringing out your inner dominatrix.

When I used to do a lot of presenting, I had a friend, an AV guy named Chris who could also easily read the energy in the room. So I told him that when he feels like I’ve gone all the way into my head, I want you to get my attention.

How did I get him to get my attention you ask? I got him to stand up at the back of the  room (where people couldn’t see him), face me, and crack an imaginary whip!

It would be my cue to tap into my inner dominatrix, source my energy from my sexual chakra, and crack that whip baby. It would work. You would see the energy in the room change instantly. Simply because I had a cue when to tap from the right kind of energy.

How do you see yourself applying this in your business or in your profession? Which of these areas do you find yourself spending a lot of time in, which one is your comfort zone? I’d love to know if you have trouble switching around as necessary and if you have trouble with a specific focal point. Just comment it down below and let’s talk.

A Special Message From Janet

Thank you so much for being here. I know there are a lot of podcasts you could choose to listen to  and you chose to join me on Romance Your Tribe Radio.


I’m honoured and  grateful for your support.

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Read The Transcript Here

Hello, and welcome! Janet Beckers here with a short teaching episode for you, for Romance Your Tribe Radio. Today is on a little bit of a different topic, and it comes around energy. The type of energy that you bring to different tasks that you may be doing in your business. And specifically. Three different focal points within your body, where you’ll be drawing on that energy for different circumstances. So, a little bit different. If you’re a person who’s into Chakras, then you will probably really relate to this and be able to share a lot of great information in the comments down below, if you’re here on the blog. So, please do that because this is not necessarily an area that I am an expert at.

But I’m sharing with you, how I have found over time to be able to tap into three core areas of energy that allow you to connect with your clients, allow you to persuade and convince, with integrity and with energy, and also allow you to be able to keep the energy going in your own business on a day to day level. So, let’s have a look at this. We’re gonna look at the three different core energy points. The focal points that you will be drawing in on your business, on a day to day basis.

When do you normally use those, and how do you tap into the other ones and why would you want to? So this is a little bit of fun, hope you have some fun with this. So, why am I bringing up this topic anyway? Well, this came up this morning actually, as I’m recording this. I was having the morning huddle with a group of clients who were in my Attract A Tribe accelerator program. Every single week, we get together and we hot seat, and really help them on the big issues that are happening in their business. And one of our clients was bringing up about a really important proposal that she’d been putting together, and was ready to go to the client, and then to let the energy just go with the flow. And just surrender.

And to me, that was a red flag, because no baby, there are times to surrender the energy, and there are times for you to tap into your inner dominatrix, and to really bring that authority, bring that energy to a project, so that people will be motivated and persuaded to be able to move forward. So, let’s have a look at that. That’s why I’m bringing this up, because there are certain times when you need to bring in that energy, that especially when it comes towards sales. And we’ll talk about situations where there are sales processes happening in your business, that aren’t just necessarily what you would see as a sale with money exchanging. Now, let’s get going.

So, the three main areas are your head, your heart, and what I think of as your inner dominatrix. Now, for people who are really into Chakras and understand this better, it may be your sacral, it may be your base. You can see this is not my area, but you know what it is, because it’s below, it’s around your pelvic area so, if you’re thinking around there, that is what I call your inner dominatrix. So, we’ve go these three areas. When should they be used, and when have you gotta get a red flag that it, “Ut oh, I’m stuck in that particular Chakra, and that is not the right one for the moment.

So, let’s start from the top and work down. Your head Chakra or your head energy, this is where, as a business owner, you can spend a lot of your time. Now, especially if you are a coach, if you are a consultant, and if you are a service provider, because you’re the expert in what you’re doing. And quite often, a big part about what you’ll be doing with your clients when you’re working with them personally, is teaching them. Teaching them what it is that they need to be doing in order to get the transformation that is your responsibility to help them get.

Now, in cases of creating content, if you for example might be in one of my programs where we’re taking your intellectual property and we’re creating step by step programs, so that you can really leverage what you’re doing, well that’s content creation. So, a lot of times, you’ve gotta be in your head. It’s a teaching thing and this is really important. Now, I’ll also give you an example at the end, when you, if you’re a presenter, that you can very often be in your head. We’re gonna talk in a moment about how that can sometimes not be a good thing.

So, understand that in those times, you know if being in your head is really, really important. Also, not just directly with clients but with yourself and your own business, especially when you’re making decisions, you’re doing strategizing. You are learning how to do something new, then you’re gonna be in your head a lot. So there is the time for the head, which is important. But, here is one problem with when you are up in your head. When you are in your head, you can’t connect energetically with people who are in front of you. Whether that person being in front of you is a client, who you may be meeting in person or maybe through Zoom or Skype, so it could be in that way. Even if you’re not looking at each other visually, if it’s just the listening, there is not that connection. And if you’re in a room full of people, there is not going to be that connection as well.

So, even though you can be teaching, you’re not gonna be having the heart to heart, that real connection, and you need to have that in order to motivate and persuade people to take action. Now, if you are in a transformational space, where you’re taking people who got problem here, and they’re in point a. You’re getting them to point B, so the transformational journey. You know, you can be teaching them as much as you like, but they’re the people who are gonna have to take action. They’re the ones that are gonna have to implement whatever you’re teaching into your day to day lives, so you need to be able to connect, so that they can feel that they can do it. So you can’t do that just from the head. So you can see how this sometimes is the area we focus on a lot, but you need to be able to connect to the other two focal points at some stage, in order to motivate, inspire, and connect.

So, I’m curious. I’d like to hear from you. Is this an area that you find yourself in a lot? And if so, is do you find this scenario is easy for you to swap over, or do you sometimes feel like you’re there all the time? So now let’s look at the next one which is the heart. Now this is a time, especially if you’re a coach and you’re connecting, you’re asking questions. Say, for an example, especially if you’re seeing a life coach, or even myself who is business and mentoring, you know that heart connection is absolutely important. Because unless you can connect with the person who you are talking with, who you are writing for perhaps, whose videos you are making, unless you can connect heart to heart, they are not gonna be feeling that sense if, “You know what? I can do this,” or, “This is right.” They’re not gonna be feeling it for themselves. So, some find it very difficult for you to motivate people to actually take action, to get results, unless you can tap into that heart to heart.

For example, you, I don’t know, you might be feeling it a little bit now. You know? Because I’ve deliberately dropped down to half. Now when I shoot a video, I have an exercise that I do with my clients, where I show you how to energetically connect with the camera before you start. And so that the people who are watching it can feel as if, “Man, you’re talking to me,” and that’s because you are. And I’ve done so many times, where I’ve had a client that’s created a video that is perfect. It’s got the script, to what they’ve said is perfect. The presentation. Everything is fantastic. Then we’ve done that exercise to connect with heart, and shot it again, exactly the same, and even though you may not be able to say why this other one is better, you can feel it. So you need to be able to tap in to heart. And that’s something that you need to be doing when you’re working with your clients.

And you need to be doing it for yourself, because if you’ve taken the time to really think about strategy, and you’ve been up in your head working out what you’re doing, you need to connect back into heart, because that’s also gonna be your way of motivating, and connecting you, and keeping you going to implement. So, it’s not just for others. You need to connect yourself. And that is by bringing your energy, and focusing on heart and focusing on love. I know we sound like we’re getting woo-woo here, but I’ll tell you what, this stuff works.

Now, there is one more point, and that’s where the focus was with my client this morning when we brought up this topic. Was that dominatrix. So, in what circumstances are you going to need to tap into this other energy. Now I want you to put your hands down here, sort of below your belly button and really draw her in. Now, this can be a seat of confidence. It is a seat of sexual energy. It is a place where you can be drawing on, and here’s the energy that comes up that says, “Take me seriously baby, because man I know what I’m talking about, and this is how things happen around here. And you know what? Come to me baby, come to me.” Now this sort of energy is what I call it the inner dominatrix, because in order for me to tap into that energy, the way that I do that is I visualize this leather clad, high heeled, whip wielding woman, that is just gonna go, “Right. Let’s make this happen, baby.” And tapping into that energy is really, really important.

Because it is situations like this, for example the client this morning where we were bringing up this topic was, you know what? There’s a circumstance here where you’ve got a client that you’ve given a great proposal to, or about to. And just letting it go through to, let’s just put it out to the universe and just surrender, is not gonna be the right energy. It is the energy to follow through, to let them know, “You know what? I have designed this for you, and we’re gonna make this happen, baby. You and I together, let’s actively like get excited about this.” That is a very, very different energy to just putting something, and then not following through with any energy at all.

Now, I’ll give you an example of when, a few years ago, I presented it from a stage quite a lot. It was a big part of my marketing strategy. I would go to other people’s conferences. I would present from the stage, and then at the end of that I would pitch. I would sell from the stage one of my programs. Now, 90 minutes is the typical time to be on the stage. That is a lot of time to keep your own energy going, but also to keep the energy of everybody in the room, and you can see it. You can feel it in the room if you have lost the energy with people.

Now there are times, when you need to connect from the heart. There are times when you need to teach. And there are times when you really need to bring in that inner dominatrix, and say, “Here we go baby, this is I know whether at I’m talking about, and you and I are gonna do this.” Now that may be to persuade to us as well, but very often it is to persuade their belief that they can do it. So, it’s not just, “I believe in you,” it is, “You know what? I believe in you and we’re gonna make this happen.” It is an extra energy that you bring to it.

Now, so much so that I would find, because you wanna give great value when you’re presenting from the stage, and so you have a big part where you are teaching people, giving them really good strategies, and tactics, and things that they could be using to be able to take action. Now, it is very easy at that time to go off into your head, because you’re teaching. But as I said before, when you’re up in your head for too long, you’re not connecting with people energetically. So, you will lose. You will lose them, and that’s when you see rooms start to get a bit restless. Somebody nodding off over there in the corner, not good.

So, it’s at those times that you really need to draw into that inner dominatrix. And so what I would do, is I had, at the time when I was doing a lot of this presenting, I don’t do it so much now, but I might get back into it. I really enjoy the energy. But at that time there was a guy, Chris, who was the AV guy. We became really good friends, we became good friends, and he was very good at being able to read the energy in a room, and read the energy of the different presenters. And he could see when I was going into head, and that I was losing the energy of the room.

And so I told him my idea, “You know, I’m just gonna draw on that inner dominatrix, because that is the energy that I need. And so, what I want you to do Chris, is when you see that I’ve gone up into my head, you can go like this to show me I’m up in my head. I want you to stand up at the back of the room,” because people won’t see him, “And crack that whip, baby.” And he would do that, two or three times throughout a presentation, and it would work. You would see the energy in the room change almost instantly. Simply, because you were commanding that attention.

So, let’s do a review of the three main core parts where you will be focusing energy and drawing on that energy for your business, where the main times that you will use it, and the ways and how you can be improving on that. So, number one is your head, and that’s very much a place from learning and from teaching. And it’s also a time for making decisions. So, that is a great place to be for those, but when it comes to you connecting with your own heart, and to be able to connect with the people who you’re helping, you need to move out of your head, and move into your heart Chakra. Because it is at that point that you will truly, truly connect with people and inspire them to take action. With your heart Chakra, that is truly when you’re really, really connecting with people, and that is where there is a true energy flow, and people will feel that yes, I can do this, and will feel supported and motivated to take action. It is from a place of love.

But you can’t always stay in that place. Number one, because it’s too distracting to be able to go into that teaching phase from there, and also sometimes that place of love, that support will not be enough to get somebody really excited to, “Yes, not only do I believe I can do this but I am taking some action, and I am gonna meet my goals and get that transformation that I wanna have, that you are helping me with.” And in that case, that’s when you need to bring in that inner dominatrix, and bring her out wielding, with that energy of, “Yeah, baby, we’re slaying here.” So they are the three different energies that you have, and they are the situations that we’ll use them. And you need to be using those, every single day. Because you know, sometimes the person who needs to get whipped into enthusiasm, and energy, and action is yourself.  And that’s when you need to be bringing that in, and using it yourself to continue to take action and get results in your business.

Okay, I would love to hear from you. Which of these three areas do you find that you spend a lot of your time in? Which is your comfort zone? And also, I’d love to hear from you, are there any of those areas that you maybe find difficulty, being able to transition into? And especially if you’re watching this, and you’ve got some really great advice for everybody else, please come over. If you’re here on, where are we? On the blog page, that’s great. Just comment down below. Otherwise, come over there onto the website to go onto the podcast area to find us here. And yeah, if you’ve got some great advice on getting into energy zones and when to use them. I’d really appreciate to hear from you, because this is something that we can all continue to get up skilled in. Okay, bye!