Starting and growing a business can be lonely and the support networks you have (or don’t have) can make the difference between resilience, confidence and optimism and fear, conflict and crippling self doubt. Just this week a question was asked in a business Facebook group I’m part of. A frustrated business woman asked “what do you do if your partner doesn’t support your dreams in business?”.
The responses were fascinating. There were a lot!
Many were wise but I was disappointed how many said “divorce him!”
Surely there are better ways to have the difficult conversations?
That’s what I’m sharing with you today.
Whether you are male or female and whether your life partner is male or female, we all have the same problem. How do you get the support, or the “buy in” from your significant other?
Getting your partner’s support could be for leaving your job to start a coaching or consulting business, travelling to a workshop, buying an education program, starting a business, spending the money on website development or setting up an awesome at-home video studio.
It doesn’t even have to involve spending money as time is just as important.
How do you convince your partner that the late nights you spend learning how to set up your online business are a good investment of your time, and their loss of your attention?
I often am told “You are so lucky to have the support of your husband” and I know I am. But you know what?
Like anything, getting support for your dreams is just like making a sale. You need to know how to make the sale and how to keep the sale. This counts for everything in your life.
So, If getting support from your partner for your goals is just like a sale, let’s look at the tried and tested formula for a sales letter, sales audio and videos. Like any genuine sale, it is not manipulation or deception. A genuine sale provides all the information a person needs to be able to decide if they want to “buy in” and the environment to make the decision without stress.
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7 Steps To Sell Your Partner On Your Dreams
Welcome the viewer:
In the case of talking to your partner about something as important as their support of your dreams, create a welcoming environment. Don’t try and discuss this in the middle of getting dinner ready. Grab a cuppa / bubbles and sit down.
In this case you will be establishing how serious you are about your dream or goal. This will show them this is not just another fad that is not worth spending time on.
Use a hook or cliff hanger:
This keeps the viewer wanting to stay to the end. Everyone, yep even people who love you, will be thinking deep down “What’s in it for me?”. Let them know that you’ll tell them at the end, something that will make it all worthwhile for them. A solution that will make life easier.
Share Your Story:
In sales, this is so people can relate to you. This is because people like to do business with people they like and relate to. Hopefully, with your partner, you have a bit of that groundwork covered. This is the place to share your passions. Why you are so passionate about this and go into a bit more depth on what ground work you have already done.
Paint the Problem:
Remember, this is a sale so we’re not talking about YOUR frustrations and problems. We’re talking about them. So this may be they are living with someone who is frustrated, or they are tied to a nine-to-five job and would love to have more freedom. You may have children one of you wants to be home with. Think about why YOU have this dream and it may also be a similar motive for your partner.
Provide The Solution:
In a sales letter, audio, video this is the main body. So it works similar for your sales pitch here. This is where you want to lay down some facts and case studies. Examples of what has worked for others and why you think it may work for you.
This is also the place to deliver on your promise you alluded to in your hook.
To know what promise will work best (equivalent to your offer in a sales pitch) you need to know what their biggest fears are and the biggest benefit. You need to think long term and short term here. So long term it may be lifestyle freedom but in the short term, you will need some other offers.
For example, if their biggest fear is the time it will take you, I suggest you negotiate the amount of time you will spend on your venture, balanced with time with them and family (this is a good discipline for yourself as well).
If their fear is money, you can assign a budget together. You can point them to the number of free resources you can access to learn how to build your business.
If their concern is time AND money, then you can present information on mentors that will save you both time and money in the long run.
HINT: You can also have some fun here. I’ll leave it to your imagination (wink, wink)
Call To Action:
You don’t want to spend all this time and action, moving towards a sale and not close the deal. In sales it is “fill in your email” or “click here to buy”. With your partner it may be:
- Let’s work out a time table together of times I will devote to my new venture, and time balancing my life with yours, or
- Let’s agree now if I have your support to book a workshop, invest in a program, take a sabbatical from my work, or
- Lets agree now that you will not undermine me with doubting language (if this has been a problem) and instead you will re-frame your language to be one of support.
A Word of Warning on Crafting Your Message
I made this mistake myself and I have seen many people (both men and women) make exactly the same mistake.
You cannot expect your partner to have the same dreams as you.
In your ideal world, you and your partner will be inspired by the same passion and both strive towards the same goal. They too, will want to be at the same events, working late at night to learn how to master Internet marketing and be fascinated by SEO and Opt-in rates.
Don’t aim for this.
It is unfair to expect your partner to get sucked into your jet-stream just because you want them to. The sale you are after is their support. You want them to encourage you, not undermine you.
Anything that comes later, is a true bonus and you know that it comes from genuine personal interest rather than just kindness. In many cases, your partner can get involved doing things that you do not have a natural ability for, and they have the satisfaction of doing something practical to help you achieve your dream.
After all, in my books, a great relationship is one that helps each partner be the best they can be. It works both ways. Your partner may have hidden dreams as well and will appreciate your support. You may be surprised at the common ground your different dreams may have after you work through this process.
I’d love to know what you think. I’m sure for some people, the thought of approaching their partner in this way is horrifying. For others, I know it can change your life. Love to know what you think.
P.S. If you’d like to get to know my husband a little bit, you can get a great insight into his passions over here on Flickr https://www.flickr.com/photos/dougbeckers/
He is an incredibly experienced and passionate ecologist , and as you can see my the thousands of photos he makes publicly free, he spends time in some amazing wild places.
A Special Message From Janet
Thank you so much for being here. I know there are a lot of podcasts you could choose to listen to and you chose to join me on Romance Your Tribe Radio.
I’m honoured and grateful for your support.
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